Awesome All Day Good Will Tour Day #9: More fun with combustion and nudity!

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So last night our totally badical host took us out to some brewery that had pitchers, large enough to shove two mostly developed babies into, for only $7 bucks! I assumed that was all we were going to do that night (primarily because cheap pitchers speak to me in a language only my heart can understand) but, we ended up heading out to a bar that specialized in whiskey/ endangering my personal safety.*

 

*surprisingly, without the use of said whiskey.

 

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The house band were pretty solid and after finishing their set several of them did some intense fire dancing… IN THE MIDDLE OF THE BAR. If your anything like me, you’ve always wanted to see a dude who looks like Frank Zappa give some girl a lap dance while simultaneously using lighter fluid to set her extremities ablaze. The best part? they were no joke called Magic Fire and the Faerie Pranksters. I guess Captain LSD and his Psychedelic Drum Circle Jam Band was already taken.

 

My personal scent this morning is a heady mixture of lighter fluid, pure unadulterated man, and beer. I’m chalking this one up as a win.

 

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Awesome All Day Good Will Tour Day #8: New Bffs + Man’s Bff.

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If his doesn’t make you hate your apartment and its “No Dog Rule” you have no heart. I haven’t managed to do anything today besides drink beer, eat chips and salsa, and hang out with “Shuggie” here (surprisingly not named after Suge Knight). I think his veins are filled with high fructose corn syrup. 

 

We’re staying at our new friends Janet and Will’s badass house, Do yourself a favor and check out their various projects!

 

Scribe Marketing

Hardaway & the Commoners

 

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Awesome All Day Good Will Tour Day #7: God Dammit! THAT’S A HUGE CROSS!

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Driving down I-40 on our way out Amarillo (Hallelujah!), we spotted a sign that said WORLDS LARGEST CROSS. After about 3 minutes of convincing the girls/ stowing my devil worship paraphernalia we pulled the RAV4 off the freeway and headed for eternal salvation.

 

The cross is 19 stories tall and in the middle of a giant field. Fortunately, they had helpful signs to keep pilgrims from going astray. 

 

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When we finally reached the Jesus Tower, we found that it also had the stations of the cross immortalized in statuary. Even the part where Jesus put down the cross and picked up an aborted fetus! 

 

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My favorite part was Jesus’ tomb! It had the round rock and everything! This place was so cool you could see why a dude would want to hang out in there for three days!

 

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After a quick stroll around the mount, we headed for the gift shop. 

 

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There was so much great stuff in here you couldn’t measure it with a golden measuring rod EVEN IF YOU WANTED TO! 

 

My favorite had to be the Strawberry Jam, Because nothing says religious piety and ancient roman execution devices like the taste of homestyle strawberry preserve!

 

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