Sorry I have not posted in a minute I’ve been busy moving/shaking.
So the other day while running some errands (read: drinking smoothies, slyly snapping cell phone picks of mutants on the CTA, and giving strangers the eye) I stumbled across this junk shop on Diversey called “J.K. Discount Store.” This place is officially the jam. I picked up a painting of a puppy, an old timey baseball bat (that’s right ladies… zombie protection), and Mr. Antlers for around one hundred US dollars.
Taxidermy is not for everybody. Some people get grossed out by dead stuff or are turned off by hunting in general, but for some reason I REALLY LIKE IT.
The other night I said hello to you because you were sitting at the bar next to my friend Jonathan. I was hypnotized by your style, Instead of going the booooring route of being a decent human being, making small talk, and enjoying yourself… You made fun of my clothes, called my glass of whiskey a bitch drink, and labeled me unoriginal (this one i sort of understand. EVERYBODY says hello). I was a little to intimidated by your oh so big eyes and teeth to offer anything back but some feeble insults and a less than graceful retreat for the door. I know you were probably not impressed.
But baby, you’ve got to give me one more chance!
I’m not as experienced at being an inhuman monster as you! I’ve been practicing though! CHECK IT:
-I stopped tearing apart those plastic things that hold my six-packs together. Who cares about dumpster ducks anyways?
-When homeless people ask me for change now I give them some tokens I forgot to use last time I was at the santa cruz beach boardwalk.
-I’ve got a whole stack of wet paint signs that i’ve removed.
-I haven’t been putting my netflix anywhere near a safe place. That copy of The Lake House is going to be so scratched up!
I think I’m going to go back to Cole’s this Wednesday if you wanna check out my new bad boy club image and talk about how much we love sulking and hate men.
Sorry it’s been forever since I posted (literally the last six posts i’ve done have started this way DEPRESSING).
Anyhow, I just got back from visiting my friend Joy in NYC and saw some amazing things/had several blasts. The best part was that it only cost me ten dollars to get there, because my main man Mike the Game alerted me to a bonkers deal JetBlue was offering to celebrate their ten year anniversary. The following are some rad things I saw on my trip:
I can’t put my finger on why but this scared me more than all the TSA security, time square bombings, and all the interesting folk on the subway combined. If there is a nuclear attack and we all end up as mutants or wall shadows I know i’m going to be one of those freaks who end up with an extra appendage growing out of an inconvenient spot (and not a cool appendage either). I’m not even sure where fallout shelters are located in Chicago?
also
Can you imagine what that kind of radiation is going to out rat & roach population?! It’s not going to be good man… not. good. at. all.
The gentlemen pictured above was not part of the fashion show the picture was taken at nor was he a good dancer, attractive, or well received. He was on the other hand very ballsy, big clanky balls that make sitting uncomfortable, because he hopped on stage and started stripping off his clothes along with the burlesque dancers on stage. I approve and applaud your bravery Sir.
